Depression has been with me since my teens. It has been a constant companion for the past 52 years. I have lost family and friends, but the depression is always there, hanging around in the background, gradually, creeping up like a black warm blanket, enveloping me in its embrace!
Finally, I have come to accept that it will probably never leave me, currently, it has manifested itself as anxiety. Fretting about things that probably won’t occur. Being worried about not being worried!
I have had a traumatic life, fuelled by addiction, homelessness, death and utter desolation. (None of these were mine).
In the summer of 2010, events led me to have a complete mental meltdown. I wasn’t allowed the privilege of being able to nurse myself to health, my lovely grandmother was diagnosed with terminal cancer and I had to “pull myself together”. I was needed. Somehow, without me realising, I have become an emotional crutch to so many.
Every day, I wake up and face my depression alone, but I will never allow depression to run my life again. I have learnt to live with it and treat it like any other illness. I take my medication, like I would if I had a heart condition, or other potentially life changing conditions.
Currently I am supporting my 20 year old son who has been diagnosed with depression.
Yes, depression really is My Best Friend!!