It Begins Again

By Natalie

And so I feel it beginning again

The self loathing and endless search for pain

Pain that’s real and self inflicted

Pain imagined, unrestricted

Pain so deep, so dark I wouldn’t wish it on another

Yet aimed at me I’m willing to accept it

I work hard, pretending I’m much better

That’s all it is

A pretence

Exhausted and hurting

Tears falling like rain

Once again welcoming the pain

It’s cruel, unkind I know

But so familiar now somehow I wish it weren’t

Each day I remember some wisdom:

Be gentle to yourself

Rest

Shower

Talk

Love

Each day I try to make it my mantra

submit-bk

But lately everything is tainted darker, deeper

Gentle

Rest

Shower

Talk

Love NOT Rage

Pain

Hate

Pain

Rage

Remember now,

Natalie:

Gentle

Rest

Shower

Talk

Love

BOOKS 2

 

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