Penelope vs Me

By Clara Rose

It’s safe to say that developing mental health issues isn’t exactly the highlight of my life so far. The weakening of the knees, the racing of the heart, the shortness of breath. These are just some terrifying features of a panic attack. Sometimes there are people around who can help you through such a terrible time. But sometimes, we are forced to bring ourselves out of the attack alone. I have done this many times and I now know the routine off by heart. And so I thought that I would share with you the transcript between Penelope, my paranoia, and myself. Because I want to show you how there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and that although it is in no way easy, it is possible to win.

Oh hey there Penelope.
I wasn’t expecting you.
Everything is good right now! 🙂
What’s that?
It isn’t good?
Well it is,
So you can go back home to your cave.
No, you’re wrong!
Don’t say that!
Just please, go away!
I’m begging you!
No, please, don’t make me do that!
You’re hurting me!
You’re breaking me apart!
I just want this to end!
What did I do to deserve this?!
You’re going to kill me……..

But if you do that, then where will you be?
You need me.
Without me there is no you.
Because you, Penelope, are nothing.
Not me, but you.
No one hates me, they hate you.
No one wants me to go, they want you to go.
What even are you?
You’re just a chemical imbalance.
And I am so much more.
I am brave and strong.
I am kind and loving.
I am everything you are not.
And I will not let you defeat me.

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